Moments for April 20 & 21

So yesterday pretty much stunk!  It has taken me all day today process it and be able to find any happy moments.  Shall I give you a quick overview of the day so you can see what I mean?
5:30 Gabe goes to work,  I wake up to hear him pray (a great part of my day), hard since I had only gotten to sleep at 1:30, so four hours of sleep (this is important)
6:10  middle girl comes in saying she has wet the bed, she needs a bath and is wide awake,  only an hour till its time to get up anyway
7:25  wake up other girls to get ready for school
7:30 oldest girl comes to tell me the toilet clogged and flooded the bathroom
7:40-8:20 youngest girl yelling, crying, complaining about how much she hates school  & she isn't going
8:25 drop girls off at school, think, "Yes, now they are someone elses problem for a while."  Immediately feel GUILT.

Shall I keep going for you?  Needless to say such a bad morning, after a bad night of sleep didn't set me up for a great day.  My positive, puts up with me husband, tried very hard to see that things could only get better, but I just couldn't see it.  But the good news is, and this is one of the happy things about yesterday, is that they didn't get any worse.

Not very long ago, I would have let this morning control the rest of my day, I would have climbed back in bed knowing it would only get worse.  Granted I wanted to climb back in bed, and I admit I did take a rather long nap in the afternoon, but I also did some cleaning and some laundry, went to an ortho appt with oldest girl, and tried hard not to spread my negativity.

The best part of the day was when husband came home.  He and I went out to dinner without the girls.  It was nice to spend some time with him and know he cares so much for me.  On the way home, he told me how worried he has been because I have been having a hard time for a couple weeks now.  He wanted to know if I would like him to take a day off work so we could spend the day together.  Such a gift!  I love him for thinking of that and then for doing it.  Which leads into today.

Went to bed last night at 10:30 and blessedly slept straight through until 7am.  So wonderful to get good sleep.  I woke up feeling great!  Adding to the fact that husband was home and we woke up together.  All the girls woke up happy for the day.  Such a difference!

I had a session with my therapist today and husband came too.  It was really good for both of us.  We talked a lot about how we play roles for each other and what to change.  Talked about the cycle of my depression and what he can do to help stop it.  We both came away with lots to think and talk about and I felt very blessed.

We spent the rest of the day together running errands, picking up the girls, and doing projects.  We had some friends over for dinner which was also very nice.  I would be hard pressed to find moments of unhappiness today. :)  The whole day was wonderful.

The thing I like about myself today is that I am able to be open with my therapist and honest with myself.  I am tired of hiding from the things that are contributing to my depression.  I am strong enough to handle being told and looking at the negative side of myself.  Part of the reason for my depression is that for to long I have tried to hide any negativity, anger, sadness, ect. and pretend it wasn't a part of me.  In so doing, I learned to numb myself in order to cope.  It is time to change that, to look at and feel the negative parts of me in order to heal from them.  It is time for me to change my self expectations in order to stop creating more anger and sadness.  I don't know if this makes any sense, but it does to me.

So I hope you had happy moments today, or an overall happy day!  Share!